Posts 27, 28, 29/100
A quick-and-dirty compilation of my posts from last week.
Yeah, totally didn’t write anything on these days because I was dying. I was in the ER and then in a pain-killer comatose sleep for two days.
Highlights of my night at Family Restaurant include:
- 70+ year old woman wearing leopard-print, see-through leggings. Oh yeah. Let that sink in.
- “I, uh, er, um. I would like, uh, er..” “..I can give you some more time if you’d like!” “Oh, I know what I want, I want, uh, errr, um, give me, ummmm…” “…..” “….” “….I’ll have a burger.” “How would you like it cooked?” “Uhhhh…..um…” “…Medium well?” “Yeah,sure, that. And uh…er…um….fries. Thanks.” (This took eight minutes. Eight! And then he called me back and ordered salmon. What the fuck, dude!?)
- The lady who was “in a real hurry” and demanded the check immediately, but then camped out for an extra thirty minutes after paying.
- The oldest people I’ve ever seen in my life ordering bloody marys and shots of vodka like freaking winners.
Remember when I talked about dating being like the bus and how hard it is to know where you stand with people when everyone is either “talking,” “texting,” “dating,” “seeing each other,” or “in a relationship?” So, I text with this guy every day. Which means we’re talking. And we’re going on dates, which means we’re dating, right? And we’re even seeing each other like two times a week. Sooo, what the hell does that mean?
I’m in a strange state of mind. I really, really dig this guy. I have been single for two years, now, and I’m feeling things I haven’t in a long time. That’s so freaking weird to me. But it’s exhilarating, as well. I’m this big old ball of emotions that I don’t understand and am not entirely comfortable with.
Which leads me to the title of this post. Gosh darn it, guys, I worry all the time that I’m too much me for anyone to really, truly enjoy. I don’t know where that incredible sense of self-doubt comes from, but I am always afraid that I’m annoying as hell. I don’t know how to shatter that idea. I am legitimately afraid to message him sometimes because I don’t want to be annoying or overbearing in this strange dating-but-not-“dating” phase we’re in.
This is the guy that makes me laugh louder and longer than anyone I’ve ever known. He makes me feel like I’m interesting and worth his time and attention. He is pretty stellar.
What if he just thinks that I’m some girl to have grown-up sleepovers with and then only takes me out on further dates to be nice? Wouldn’t that just be terrible?
Any advice for my crazy?
I really just want to go camping as soon as possible, guys. I want to be out in nature, cooking with cast iron over an open flame. I want to be back with the trees, hearing the music of the forest, the creek, the wind keep the world alive. I love to be outside. And I adore camping.
There’s a possibility I’m going to a music festival this summer with some very close friends of mine. Although there will be hella people there, camping is totally involved and I yearn for that. I really hope it becomes a reality, because it would be great.
Does anyone want to go camping with me when the weather is steadily above 50 degrees? 😀