On Writing

I used to write all of the time. Like, seriously, all of the time. I wrote every day. I’d write confessions in my journal, poems, stories, really shitty songs… I wrote because I felt like all of my ideas would just disappear if I didn’t write them down. I was a written word hoarder. I kept all of my notebooks, journals, and scraps of paper to read at a later date, because when I read them I’d want to make more.

And then I forgot about them.

I got wrapped up in my relationships. I got involved in the psych-out that is the summer before college. I moved across the state to attend a university. I got swamped with classwork and assigned reading and joining a sorority.

I forgot about writing. I forgot about the thrill sent through me as I touch a pen to paper, the titillation that clicking keys gave me as my thoughts poured into a blank Word document.

I forgot.

Even this blog hasn’t sated my hunger for writing- although I’m sure you all wish it had by now. There’s something missing in my writing that I can’t explain. Words used to flow from me like a stream through a broken dam. I was able to sit down for ten or twenty minutes and write something that I at least found meaningful. I could easily articulate my thoughts with the perfect words.

Now I sit down and write ten drafts a day on WordPress and can’t even find something good to post from that. My poetry is wishy-washy bullshit, and I haven’t finished a short story in almost four years. Something has changed and I don’t know what it is. One of the reasons I decided to write 100 posts a day was to increase my creative output and maybe get me back into the groove of writing.

It hasn’t. I am nowhere in sight of the groove. I hope to find it, or something similar, through my 100 days of blogging.

Until tomorrow, folks.

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3 comments

  1. You know, when I started to decorating cakes, I loved it. I poured myself into it. It took me hours to do one, because I was meticulous about it. As I got better at it, some of the novelty wore off……..I did a few less as the months and years progressed. Its been a while since I did a really creative cake. (Probably Jenny’s wedding cake.) But in the back of my mind, I know the creativity hasn’t gone anywhere. Oh, some of my techniques may be a bit rusty, but if I get out the kit, make up some frosting and practice, it will all come back. Trust yourself. Practice a bit. It will all come back. Maybe you just need to pick up a pen and a journal to get back into that groove. There’s just something about the feel of that book in your hands………….. 🙂

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