If I Could See You Again

If I could see you again, I would tell you that what you did was wrong.

I would tell you that you took my trust and used it as a weapon against me.

I would say that you treated your only true friend as if she were disposable.

I would say that for the rest of my high school career….I felt disposable.

If I could see you again my body might freeze in paralyzing memory.

Or I might punch you in the face.

Because what you did to me was not okay.

If I could see you again…. I would probably cry. From the anger, the fear, the resentment, and the hurt.

I would tell you I’m crying because you took from me what others give away for the first time. I would say that it is unfair that you took my virginity as well as my pride. You took my dignity.

You robbed me.

But…if I could see you again…I would tell you that I am okay.

I would say that you may have robbed me, but I found better things. I rebuilt myself and now I am stronger in spite of you.

If I could see you again I would let you know that I am happy. I have people, a job, and things that bring me joy.

I would ask you what you have done with your life.

If I could see you again, I would ask you how you feel about what you did to your high-school best friend.

I would remind you that it was rape.

And I would tell you, again, that I have begun to know what true peace is. I know what strength is. I know these things because I have had to rebuild my entire being because of what you did.

And I would cry…

But if I could see you again, if I could really tell you all of these things, I would smile. Because I know they’re true. And I have come to learn what true happiness is. I don’t feel it all the time, but I’m sure that, on the whole, I feel a whole lot better than you do.

And that brings me joy, too.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s